Sex is more psychological than people realize. We all heard the saying
"Mind is the biggest sex organ". This actually, at least partially, means how you make the person feel mentally is what determines how good the sex is going to be. To be more specific how you make the person feel emotionally. By having sex with the right person, you can
feel empowered, recharged. To be "good in bed" is purely
psychological. Sexual satisfaction is mental satisfaction before the physical act. Sex is ego validation. You have to satisfy the person's ego to satisfy the person sexually. It's how much you respect the person.
A person can look "not so good" but can be real good in bed. For example, if a guy is a rock star but doesn't look so "good", the woman he's having sex would still find the sex real good because of his status, because of his stardom. It has more to do with how you make the person feel when you are around that person. When the person is around you, do you feel excited, happy or annoyed, bored is what determines how good the sex is going to be. If a person is funny and has his life together, he can make his partner more happy even if he doesn't look good. If a person has his life together, he/she can make his/her partner more happy in bed, than a person who doesn't.
Lot of people also have the mindset, "What I am getting from by having sex with this person". For example lots of men think, "If she cooks for me, she does the laundry, she takes care of my kids, if she packs my lunch for me, if she does this and that, she's is a 'good wife', so having sex with her is fun". Many women think, "If he can provide me my life necessities, good at his job, buys me jewelry, if he doesn't cheat on me, he's a 'good husband', so I am going to satisfy him in bed". In both cases, how both sides satisfy each other's material needs determines how good the sex is. In other words, what's my motivation for having sex?
In some of my past relationships, many times, when I was happy when other women came onto me, my then girlfriends wouldn't be so nice in bed because they got a little jealous. Or sometimes when I was mean to them, they weren't as nice as usual. Another time, my then girlfriend was mean to me, I actually made her pay fifty bucks to tame me. In another occasion, when an ex cooked for me, took me to a nice restaurant, I was very nice to her. So, it's how good you make a person feel emotionally, determines how good you are in bed. Remember sex is in the emotional brain as much as it is in the animal brain, the R-complex. It is what you do before sex all day long, it's how you treat the person trigger his/ her emotional circuitry of love, how much you satisfy that person's ego determines how good the sex is going to be.You have to let the person know that you like the person before the person's physical need is met. If the person doesn't feel good about himself/herself, know that you appreciate him/her for who he/she is, he/she is not going to enjoy sex with you. The person has to feel appreciated. So, sex is just not about look, it's your status, your lifestyle, how you make the person feel emotionally, it's your whole life, what the person is getting from you by having sex, and how you make the person feel when you are around the person.
A person can look "not so good" but can be real good in bed. For example, if a guy is a rock star but doesn't look so "good", the woman he's having sex would still find the sex real good because of his status, because of his stardom. It has more to do with how you make the person feel when you are around that person. When the person is around you, do you feel excited, happy or annoyed, bored is what determines how good the sex is going to be. If a person is funny and has his life together, he can make his partner more happy even if he doesn't look good. If a person has his life together, he/she can make his/her partner more happy in bed, than a person who doesn't.
Lot of people also have the mindset, "What I am getting from by having sex with this person". For example lots of men think, "If she cooks for me, she does the laundry, she takes care of my kids, if she packs my lunch for me, if she does this and that, she's is a 'good wife', so having sex with her is fun". Many women think, "If he can provide me my life necessities, good at his job, buys me jewelry, if he doesn't cheat on me, he's a 'good husband', so I am going to satisfy him in bed". In both cases, how both sides satisfy each other's material needs determines how good the sex is. In other words, what's my motivation for having sex?
In some of my past relationships, many times, when I was happy when other women came onto me, my then girlfriends wouldn't be so nice in bed because they got a little jealous. Or sometimes when I was mean to them, they weren't as nice as usual. Another time, my then girlfriend was mean to me, I actually made her pay fifty bucks to tame me. In another occasion, when an ex cooked for me, took me to a nice restaurant, I was very nice to her. So, it's how good you make a person feel emotionally, determines how good you are in bed. Remember sex is in the emotional brain as much as it is in the animal brain, the R-complex. It is what you do before sex all day long, it's how you treat the person trigger his/ her emotional circuitry of love, how much you satisfy that person's ego determines how good the sex is going to be.You have to let the person know that you like the person before the person's physical need is met. If the person doesn't feel good about himself/herself, know that you appreciate him/her for who he/she is, he/she is not going to enjoy sex with you. The person has to feel appreciated. So, sex is just not about look, it's your status, your lifestyle, how you make the person feel emotionally, it's your whole life, what the person is getting from you by having sex, and how you make the person feel when you are around the person.
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